Show 12: Send It On (feat. D'Angelo)

As a Ph.D. candidate, I had access to a small computer lab for graduate students at John Jay College of Criminal Justice on one of the upper floors of its building on 10th Avenue, between 58th and 59th Street. Unlimited printing was a great perk, but what I valued more were Dell desktop computers that had dual-drive CD/DVD rip and burn capabilities.

In between drafting and editing a 40 page paper on statistical analyses of a data set of gun culture in the Southern US, I was using Napster to download audio files of live songs found only in UK and Japan import CDs. Three hours of proofreading and rewriting my paper was enough time to download several audio files and then burn them onto a blank compact disc that I inserted in one of the drives. In the other drive, I used to insert and interchange some my favorite CDs to play throughout my time in the computer lab. I made it my home office.

I play music when I’m focused on deep work. I play it loudly, with or without headphones. The music blocks out the troubles of the outside world and allows an introvert like me to process my thoughts internally at my pace.

While revising one of my papers, I was once interrupted by an angered graduate student who tapped me on the shoulder and said:

“Could you turn down your music? We’re trying to work!”

I was working. I was deep in work, actually. I was so deep in work that I didn’t see that the computer lab had more people than usual in it.

But I lowered the volume level to zero. I appeased her. I was embarrassed as I saw several others look at me in agreement with her. I mouse-clicked to eject Voodoo from the drive. I wondered why they did not seem to appreciate the crescendo of D’Angelo’s “Untitled (How Does It Feel).” It’s the last 90 seconds of the song. It’s also one of the last pieces of evidence of D’Angelo’s prime.

There was a storm on the morning Sunday, June 21, 2015. I had reassured her that the rain would end and the strong winds would ease for the D’Angelo show. I had seen him a couple of times before—at Afropunk 2012, and the 2013 Prince tribute at Carnegie Hall—so I told her what to expect.

But this concert was a full D’Angelo show. I didn’t care that it was an obstructed view seat. I had to be there to make up for not being able to see him perform live in his prime. Considering the show was in our hometown, and knowing how her musical tastes overlapped with mine, she had to be my company.

D’Angelo’s mid-tempo and slow jams put me in the same emotional and cognitive state as each dinner, drink, or concert Kassie and me have enjoyed together over the 15+ years we have known one another. His music and her persona stirs a calm and smoothness inside me. At the same time, her presence and D’Angelo’s talent bring out a selfishness that I try to restrain.

Naturally, D’Angelo’s Forest Hills Stadium concert focused on his Grammy-winning album, Black Messiah. However, I wanted more hits and deep cuts from Voodoo and Brown Sugar. I wanted more songs that distinguished the true fans from the bandwagon ones. Hearing his falsetto on “Really Love” as sunset completed made me wish for more primal screams and a longer version of “Untitled.”

With a post-storm, humid breeze, we started to leave the stadium after hoping for an encore. I smiled at her and then took one last glance at the stage as we exited the row.

I couldn’t fully contain the feeling of selfishness this time. I wished for more songs, more time with her, and more carefree summer nights. Rather than being in the moment, I wished for more moments. I still do. I used to romanticize the feeling as a desire to fulfill unrealized potential. Now, I reduce it to a selfish yearning for more. That’s the sentiment that often haunts me.

As many of us learned on the morning of October 15, 2025 of D’Angelo’s passing from pancreatic cancer, I could not escape the haunting feeling of wanting more.

Like, there has to be a vault with more unreleased songs and features, right?

3 albums in 30 years can’t be all the output.

Why wasn’t there more explanation when I went to the Roots Picnic music festival this summer that D’Angelo was supposed to headline?

Why aren’t there more cures for cancer?

No matter the gratitude, respect, love and patience I can express, sometimes someone so dynamic and world-shattering comes along that leaves an enduring legacy in the form of a selfish desire for wanting more from them—and wanting more of them.

Thank you, and rest in power, D’Angelo.

================

Concert access + more:

1. Check out Lincoln Center’s Festival of Firsts—FREE concerts all this month

2. John Legend is celebrating the 20th anniversary of one of my favorite albums, Get Lifted. Check out the tour dates here.

3. Robert Glasper’s takeover of NYC’s Blue Note Jazz Cafe continues this “Robtober.” Get tickets here.

4. Reneé Rapp’s “Bite Me” tour is amazing (trust me, I went). Syd and Ravyn Lenae are the opening acts. Tickets are here. It’s the best value in terms of my price-to-musical-greatness ratio of all the concert tours out now.

================

Job/Career Opportunities in Music and Entertainment:

1. Universal Music Group has open roles ranging from Data Governance Analyst to Project Management to Finance to Full Stack Engineering, Cloud Engineering, and various creative roles.

2. Spotify has many open roles ranging from Data Science to Machine Learning to Accounting and Account Management.

3. Sirius XM has various Social Media Management, Software Engineering, Business Development, and Operations roles currently open.

================

About the author:

Cris M. is the award-winning Founder & CEO of GrantAnswers, an NYC-based data, strategy & consulting firm founded in 2013. His journey to becoming an award-winning entrepreneur has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, MTV, and Forbes. He has helped +1000s launch careers in tech & secure acceptances to top colleges & programs. His speaking engagements for the likes of Columbia Business School, Teach for America and the US Chamber of Commerce encompass immigration, career development, entrepreneurship, and tech diversity & inclusion. He is also an avid concertgoer for +25 years and counting, and likes to tell stories about it.